a number of irrational fears

I ran an fairly uneventful 12 miles yesterday, ending in the CWRU neighborhood. Some fatigue, but nothing too concerning. The last couple of miles felt encouragingly swift, a reminder that the reservoir is pretty deep nowadays.

The marathon is just two weeks away now, so thoughts about the race are becoming less and less abstract. It's exciting to think I'll be a part of such a big event, and running in a race this size will definitely have some perks (as compared to my training runs). People will be cheering as I run past, I won't have to wait for traffic lights, and water will be freely handed out (no scavenging necessary).

For the most part though, thinking about the race makes me nervous. It's all too easy to imagine things going wrong. Here are a few possibilities:

a nervous breakdown
Is there a chance that, surrounded by thousands of other runners in a sprawling metropolis, overwhelmed with the task of justifying the last four months of training, I might freak out and break down right on the streets? Probably not. But I mean, maybe it could happen.

gastrointestinal stuff
In the words of Bob Wiley, "What if I'm looking for a bathroom, I can't find one, and my bladder explodes?" Having to use the bathroom has only rarely been an issue on my long runs, but my guess is that race day nerves could play a role on October 12 (in my high school CC days , I would often have to find a restroom before the race). While I'm sure there will be stations available before and during the marathon, for the sake of comfort, convenience, and my finish time, I would rather not have to worry about it. We'll see if my innards cooperate.

the wall
I think I had my first introduction to "the wall" at the end of last Saturday's 20 miler. If not "the" wall, I think the feeling of not being able to go another half mile can at least be characterized as some sort of wall. There are several reasons why the last six miles might not pose a huge problem. I'll be fresh from the last few weeks of relatively lower mileage, there will be ample opportunity for refreshments during the race, and everyone likes to throw the word "adrenaline" around. But still, the fact remains that this will be six miles more than I've ever gone before. And when running this far, the miles at the end are never the fun ones. This frightens me. But I suppose it's just a matter of believing that the training program has gotten me to the starting line in a state of preparedness.

At this point I realize that I don't know an awful lot about this Hal Higdon character, though he seems like an all-right guy. Hopefully his running schedules are the result of years of experience and consideration. At any rate, the time for research is probably past, nothing left to do but run.